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© AnxietyBC RESOURCES.RESULTS.RELIEF . How to Address Excessive Reassurance Seeking Children and teen s look to th eir parents for information about the world. It is normal and helpful for parents to provide children with information about challenging situations. This information may help children understand that those situations are not dangerous, and show them how t o handle them effectively (e.g. what to do or say). For some children and teens, however, asking for reassurance about the same situation over and over again becomes an unhelpful way of coping. What is excessive reassurance seeking? When your child is f eeling anxious, he or she will probably turn to you for help in feel ing better. One of the ways in which your child might do this is through reassurance seeking, which involves asking you lots of questions, or asking the same question over and over in orde r to hear from you that things will be okay . What is the problem with giving reassurance? Most parents already know that giv ing reassurance over and over again can be exhausting! Giving your child reassurance quickly becomes a bottomless pit: n o matter how much reassurance you give your child, he or she will always want more! In fact, the more you give reassurance, the more you ll have to keep giving it. In a way, it becomes addictive for kids! Giving reassurance is a band – aid solution: it only relieves your child or teen moment. More importantly, giving reassurance actually because it maintains the problem in the long – term. Giving your child or teen reassurance also sends the message tha t there s actual danger that he or she needs to be protected from, when it is in fact the anxiety that is driving the reassurance seeking. What is the solution? In order to help your child face fears and cope with anxiety in a healthy and adaptive way, YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING YOUR CHILD REASSURANCE. If your child does not rely on reassurance seeking to relieve anxiety, he or she can gradually learn to cope with anxiety on his or her own: this can give your child a sense of independence and competence. Easier sai d than done? For most parents, not giving their child or teen reassurance sounds very difficult. When your child asks for reassurance, he or she is obviously very upset, and many parents feel it is Some examples of reassurance seeking: Did you wash your h ands before you cooked dinner? Are you really sure Calling mom or dad over and over again on the phone from school to make sure they are okay. Asking parents to check homework repeatedly to make sure there are absolutely no mistakes .
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